Who is the admin?

Hi,

I am Lee, a former patient of Create who has decided that it would be a good idea to have a forum specifically for clients of Create Health Clinic, somewhere where you feel that you truly have something in common with other members.

I am 31, married with two daughters aged one and three. You may be wondering why I would still want to be involved with a fertility forum? Well, I don't think you ever stop being an "infertile" woman. You still need to talk to like minded people, or people who are travelling a similar path to the one that you took yourself.

I feel very strongly about patient support, and this is why I have created this forum.

But enough of that - back to who I am!

I am currently in the process of writing a blog detailing my journey http://myivfjourney-leec.blogspot.com/

But a quick summary is that I was diagnosed with PCOS at 15, had various bouts of different fertility treatments -suffered a heart attack due to OHSS, discovered Geeta and Mild IVF - had IVF, and a BFP on the first try. My daughter was born in November 2006. Ten months later I had a period (my first ever one), then in March 2008, I had a natural BFP.

The story is far more in depth than that, which is my main reason for the blog.

Hope this gives a little insight into me...

Leex

Hello Lee, I'm so happy to discover you've taken the time and effort to set up a forum and support network for Create patients like myself, thank you very much!
I'm 41 years old and have been trying to concieve for the past two years. I met my husband later in life (37) so we didn't get started trying for a family until I was coming to the end of my 39th year. Thinking back to then I still can't believe how naive I was to assume this was going to be straight forward. My best friend was having difficulties conceiving and discovered she was perimenopausal at the time I started on my journey, despite that I still arrogantly thought 'nothing like this will happen to me, my periods have always been regular, I've never been on the pill, I eat very healthily, exercise and have done all the right things..........wrong!!
Two years on, many tears shed, negative pregnancy tests, months of chinese medicine, acupuncture, hynotherapy, hair mineral analysis tests, reflexology, special supplements, special diets etc...... we're still not there. This has been an experience like nothing I've ever known in my life, an experience that leaves me feeling isolated, a failure, angry and desperate to name but a few of the many emotions encountered.
I discovered Create after my treasured friend (the one who was perimenopausal and is now finally pregnant after 6 IVF attempts) gave me an article over 2 years old that she found in a magazine at her mother-in-laws, the article in question was an interview with the wonderful Gheeta and the positive effects of 'soft IVF', I knew instantly after trawling through a number of websites and visiting a couple of other clinics that this was the place for me and here I am!
I'm now on day four of injections for my second attempt of soft IVF. Attempt number one was sadly unsuccessful despite getting two grade one embryo's and feeling great throughout the treatment. I was not prepared for the nose dive I took a couple of weeks after the negative test, having a place like this to turn to I'm sure would have really helped my pain....
On a more positive note now that we're back on our IVF path once more and there is hope in sight my spirits have been lifted and I feel positive once again. I know it wouldn't take much to upset me but being able to talk about my circumstances and see endless pregnant women wihtout feeling my heart sink or being overcome by powerful emotions is such a relief, for now!
What I've really struggled with a lot lately is feeling very self concious and angry with myself for my feelings and behaviour, I constantly worry I'm being judged and critisised when I know I'm not being myself or find myself endlessly resorting to the subject of infertility, again this makes me so grateful for this forum.
I hope that other Create patients will soon join me on this site so we can support one another at this difficult time, all being part of the same clinic dealing with the same people gives us even more in common. I know there are many more forums out there where I've read numerous postings from other women, sometimes they've been a comfort other times a little upsetting, I could never quite bring myself to participate for fear of hearing something I didn't want to but often felt I was missing out on valueable support. As soon as I discovered this Create forum I felt compelled to be a part of it, I look forward to getting to know those of you on the same path hopefully very soon.
Many thanks again Lee and good luck with all that you're doing.
AndreaB x
ps Is there anyone else reading this on day 4 of injections today May 23rd?

Thank you for your lovely comments, Andrea, it is great to see you on here, please feel free to ask any questions and I will endeavor to get back to you asap. Also don't forget you can find us on facebook as well, just pm me your email and I shall invite you.

Leex

Hi Lee, sorry it's taken me a while to post again thanks for your reply. The last time I wrote I was on day 4 of my second mild IVF cycle. Gheeta increased my dosage slightly this time in order to try and get more eggs, last time we got four and this time we got eight. Of the eight eggs six fertilised and of those six only three made it, sadly none of them made grade 1, we got two grade 3's and one grade 2.

As I'm over the age of 40 and the embryo's weren't top quality I had all three put back. My husband and I felt so disappointed with the outcome this time, our first treatment had been so smooth and although we only got four eggs two of them were grade 1 we felt alot more optimistic back then. This time around we really didn't expect to get anywhere.

Imagine my shock and delight when we finally got a BFP, my first ever after 2 years of negative test results, it was quite surreal. So I did get pregnant finally from IVF number 2, unfortunately at my first scan when I was 6 weeks 1 day we were told there was no heartbeat. We were asked to come back for another scan 3 days later to be sure but still no heartbeat, the embryo hadn't grown and to confirm things didn't look good my yolk sac had increased in size so much it was off the scale, this confirmed it really didn't look good, it was all over!

I'm now sat waiting for this pregnancy to leave me, all that joy, excitement and looking ahead to our future with a baby is over for now, just like that. I spent the last few weeks terrified there might be blood everytime I went to the loo, now I go and hope there will be blood so this can all be over, I'm terrified my body won't do what it should at this unfortunate stage. What if this 'empty' pregnancy continues? What awful procedure will I then be subjected to, what damage could it potentially do to me and will it interfer with what little chance I have of getting pregnant again????

I really thought my time had come at last, I felt perhaps I'd suffered enough now and it was time to move on, my spirits were lifted for the first time in so long, I could feel my old cheerful and optimistic self returning, even better I could walk along the street and pass another pregnant lady thinking, 'I'm in the gang now, no longer excluded, left out and desperate', it felt so wonderful.

I really hope this encourages some more of you to join this site and share your feelings, I feel quite alone at the moment, particularly as my best friend and alli has just had her baby (ironically the same day I was told I no longer had mine). My wonderful friends who have been so loving and supportive are all caught up in the birth quite rightly so and I feel like the doom and gloom who everyone in the nicest way possible is trying not to think about and avoid at this joyful time.

I would really love to hear any encouraging stories of over forties getting pregnant with their own eggs, my hope is fading of this happening to me but I really don't want to give up, my husband and I are determined to try again. I know as time goes by this will hopefully get easier, especially once we get started on another cycle and hope is one again in sight.

Andrea x

I am so sorry to hear that Andrea, I can only imagine how hard it must be to have heard that news. I will try and get some of the ladies on fertility friends over to talk to you.

x

Dear Andrea,

I am so very sorry to hear about your miscarriage, unfortunately I know myself how painful it can be.

Let me introduce myself: I am 40 years old, TTC since 2008, I had a miscarriage in October 2008 and an ectopic pregnancy in May 2009 that was misdiagnosed at 6 weeks scan and eventually ruptured at 8 weeks and ended in an ER (I lost 2.5 l of blood so it was a teriffying experience, especially for my husband as I was unconscious), my right Fallopian tube has been removed. Both pregnancies were achieved naturally.

During the surgery for removing the ectopic an endometrioma has been discovered on my left ovary, since then the disease has progressed and now I have bilateral endometriomas.

I have been to a few fertility clinics that recomended me to do conventional IVF treatment, I am quite reluctant to go in that direction as I am having endometriosis and getting a lot of hormones do not sound like a good idea for me.
I have read a lot about what is new in the ART field, new approches regarding fertility treatments and I have discoverd dr. Geeta Nargund and Create. So, here I am, new patient at Create, I have just had a natural IVF attempt there, unfortunately I have ovulated prior the ovum collection. But I know this is just the beginning of IVF road for me so I will try again this month and pray for a BFP.

This is my story , please do not feel alone, miscarriages are rough but do not give up hope!

Best wishes,
Ada

Dear Andrea
I'm so sorry to hear about the outcome of your pregnancy. My thoughts are really with you. Remember that you will get through this although it may feel impossible now.
I have been in your position and know very well how terribly painful it is.
I am now 43, although I like to say "just turned 43"! I didn't start ttc until I was 40. I was amazed and absolutely delighted to get pregnant after my 3rd cycle of IUI at 41. I had my 6 week scan hoping to have good news only to be told that although I had a developing sac they couldn't see any heartbeat. It was such a terrible shock. You saying about walking down the road thinking about being pregnant was so similar to how I felt. It was an amazing time with all those hopes and plans and imaginings. And it was so terrible to hear that wasn't going to happen.

I, like you, decided that I wanted things to happen naturally. I couldn't bear the idea of ERPC, just the words are terrible. It was really difficult to do but I'm pleased that I did. I didn't miscarry until 10 weeks. It was so difficult going into work, not knowing how it was going to feel to miscarry - what the first signs would be - and what I would do when it happened The doctor said it would probably be like a heavy period. I actually miscarried on a Sunday night when I was at home alone. If it would help you then I'm quite happy to tell you a bit more about it, but I won't say now, because you may not want to hear. So let me know. But I know I felt there is a complete lack of information out there to support you when you're waiting to miscarry naturally.

I still remember when my baby would have been due, and I should have a lively 14 month old now. But I am so pleased that I did get pregnant and did have that wonderful feeling. It makes me keep going and thinking positively. I know my body can get pregnant. I was surprised afterwards how positively doctors view that, as to start with I was overwhelmed by it feeling negative.

And I am still trying with my own eggs. I'm just about to start a modified natural cycle, so I still have my fingers crossed.

So take good care of yourself and get plenty of rest. It must be so hard that friends are wrapped up with the new baby, but I'm sure they would want to support you too if you felt able to let them know how you're feeling..

Lots of best wishes.
Luce

Thankyou for all your messages - obviously the nature of these sorts of boards is that women tend to use them when trying to conceive - and often leave after a success - this can be due to both not feeling the need for the board anymore, and also possibly not feeling that talking about their pregnancy / baby would be appropriate on a TTC board.

I urge any one who has been successful and is successful to continue posting, as I know when I was trying to conceive that it was the positives that made me think there was light at the end of the tunnel.

Leex

Hello,

I've just joined the forum and read Andrea, Ada and Luce's posting. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I'm sure it's not much consolation, but you have really helped me at a low time. I know what you mean about feeling alone, Andrea, but me and Ada and Luce are out here (and others too, I'm sure). It's been so reasuring to me to read your experiences as they're similar to my own.

Here's my story - I will try to keep it short and not wallow too much! Met my husband in my mid-thirties (he took a long time showing up, but he's worth it!) and we started trying for a family when I was 38 (of course we now wish we had got a bloomin' move on, but hindsight is a wonderful thing...). Just at that time, I was diagnosed with a large (yup, we're talking mellons here) fibroid and put on the (very long) waiting list for a myomectomy op to remove it. Excellent timing, eh? At a routine scan to look at the fiboid, an ectopic pregnancy was dicovered (8 weeks - yes, I had a lot of pain, but stupidly attributed it to the fibroid) and my left tube was removed. So the myomectomy followed a few months later, and a few months after that another op to remove all the scar tissue caused by, you guessed it, the other op. Ho hum. Meanwhile, the old biolgical clock is not ticking, but bonging big time. And still no pregancy. So off we went to Create and a first (stimulated) cycle in March. Only one poor little egg, luckily a grade one embryo, but sadly no pregancy. Last month, we tried again. More drugs, more eggs, three grade one embryos, in they pop and... a pregnancy! For all my joking, this of course meant the world to us. We had ten days of total elation (albeit cautious, of course). But no bleeding came, so we were on cloud nine: Summer, Wimbledon, my 41st birthday, and a long-awaited little thing(s) growing inside me. But sadly not for long. Blood test at St George's EPU over the weekend revealled plummeting hormones, and an early miscarriage. The bleeding had been held off by the progesteone pessaries (did anyone else know this could happen?). Such a hideous shock and disappointment (as I'm sure many of you know too). So here we are, back at square one, trying to pcik oursleves up, dust ourselves down and have another go. Ho hum indeed. But I know that we're lucky that there are some positives, and there is still hope. We will bloody-well keep going!!!

Yes, it is so hard when colleagues and friends seem to get pregnant by just sitting on the wrong chair. It feels so unfair that it's such a struggle for us, and such a lonely one at times. But this forum has shown me that I (and my poor bewildered husband) are NOT alone. So thank you all so much - you've made my day. Andrea, I am thinking of you at this difficult time for you. I wish you all the best for better times and better luck - also to Ada and Luce. Do keep in touch and most epsecially if (no, WHEN) you have GOOD NEWS to share. I promise I will too.

Kate xxx

Hi Kate - Thanks for joining us.

I am so sorry to hear that this cycle ended the way it did - I can only imagine how painful that was for you.

I didn't know the progesterone pessaries did that - but then I think they also staved off morning sickness for me -as I was fine until I stopped using them - so think there are lots of different effects from all these drugs.

On the positive side you now know that your body can become pregnant - however I think the pain is even greater when you get that glimmer of hope.

Are you planning to take a break or cycle again soon?

Leex

Hello Lee,

Thanks for your comforting words. We were back at Create yesterday for our post-cycle consultation with Mr Theodorou who was very understanding. It looks like we'll aim for another cycle in October, when we're had a bit of a break from it all. So if any fellow forum members are also planning a cycle for around that time, do let me know and we can 'hold hands' across the forum.

In the meantime, best wishes and good luck to everyone.

Kate xx

Good morning, what a lovely surprise to log on to the Create forum and find your stories, thank you so much everyone, the power of support from people in similar circumstances is incredible. I'm so sorry to hear you've had such painful journeys so far Kate and Luce, my motto lately has been the old 'if it doesn't kill me it will make me stronger' it certainly seems to be having that effect for you both, I'm so glad you plan to keep going. It's now almost 2 weeks since the first scan and still nothing has happened, I've had a lot of back ache the past few days and some twinges down below but to be honest I'm now confused by the endless sensations going on in my body, I find myself wondering if it's a new feeling or one I'd just forgotten has been there the whole time!! We're seeing Gheeta today for our follow up consultation where I'll be armed with the endless questions that have circulated my mind for the past two weeks. I feel nervous but strangley excited as this is hopefully the beginning of moving forward. I went to the Kingston Early pregnancy Unit on Saturday after being advised to do so by a doctor from Create, a further scan confirmed what we already knew (although I can't deny I was a tiny bit hopeful we might find a heartbeat), everything was still firmly in place (despite rigourous activities the previous days, maybe these little embryo's are a lot tougher than we're led to believe!). The hospital told me I could wait up to 2 weeks longer for it to happen naturally if I chose, after that time they would book me in for ERPC (can I wait longer?). I always choose to go the natural route where possible and would much prefer to do that now but I'm afraid there may be consequences, ie infection which may lead to further fertility problems, I plan to get Gheeta's advice today and hope to make a decision in the next few days, I can't deny the waiting is agonising not to mention we feel 'stuck' but I want to do what will give us the best possible chance of getting our baby as soon as possible. Please keep in touch, I know one day we'll be sharing our good news on these very pages it's just a matter of time. Have a lovely day everyone.
lots of love Andrea xxxxxx

Dear Ada, so sorry I didn't acknowledge your story, your message was on a different page and I thought it was an earlier message I had seen and acknowledged already! You too have really been through the mill, I think in comparison to Kate, Luce and you I've had it easy!! I'm sorry attempt 1 at Create didn't work out but I'm so glad you're determined to keep going. When will you get started again? Good luck and let me know how you're going or if you feel like a chat. Take care. Andrea xx

Hi Andrea,

Really good to hear from you again, but so sorry to hear you are still waiting for nature to take its course. I'm sure Gheeta will give you good advice, with your best interests at heart. I hope the pain eases for you (physical and emotional) and you'll be able to continue your journey to motherhood soon. Perhaps next time a tough little embryo will be clinging on in order to keep growing, with a fantastic, strong heartbeat! Hearing about your situation has made me feel 'lucky' (never thought I'd be using that word!) that my miscarriage happened so early and without me even knowing about it. I doubt that's much consolation to you, but I really admire your courage and determination - I'm sure you're right that it's making you stronger and preparing you to become a brilliant mum one day!

It's amazing how it's all relative and other people's stories can put things in perspective sometimes, and be very inspiring when they finally have good news to share. We will get there one day, I really believe it!

Thinking of you - keep us posted...

Love Kate x

Hello Ada,

I see you're starting treatment again soon. I wish you all the best - do let us know how you're getting on.

Sounds like we have a few things in common. I also lost a tube (left) and have an endometrioma (left as well), and Create have recommended conventional IVF for me the last two cycles (which is starting to worry me as the endometrioma is growing...). So I'd be really interested to hear how you get on with natural IVF. We are weighing up the pros and cons ahead of trying again in October. So I'd really welcome your thoughts and experiences - when it's the right time for you, obviously.

In the meantime, I hope it's proceding well and have everything crossed for you.

Love Kate x

Good morning dear all,

Thank you for sharing your experiences, is so comforting to talk to people that are going through the same circumstances like myself and keep their hopes alive. Thank you Andrea and Kate for your kind words.

Andrea, when I had my first miscarriage I have been also advised by the doctors here (I live in The Netherlands) to wait to happen naturally, and it did happen in about one - two weeks.
How was your follow up consultation with Geeta? I hope that you got some answers.
Sometimes words can't explain what we feel but I just want to say again that I am very sorry and I am sure that one day you will share with us the good news!

Kate, I am sorry to hear that you have lost a tube as well and started the battle against endo but I will like to encourage you to go on, I have made quite extensive research on this nasty disease (endometriosis) and talked to a few specialists here in NL and in Germany as well, they all agreed that IVF might work even if we have endometriomas and is the best option for us.
What kind of IVF ? I think is a matter of personal circumstances, beliefs etc.
We (me and my husband) have decided that we want to try only natural IVF as I am 40 yrs old and not likely to produce a lot of eggs and above everything the plain truth is that I do not want to take so many drugs.

Short update on myself: I have just had a natural IVF cycle at Create, it was a very emotional time as our expectations were very low, but to our surprise we got a grade 1 embryo transferred on Saturday.
I am so happy that I chose Create for the treatment, even if is quite difficult for us to travel, Geeta and her team are very professional and everyone there is very supportive, we had a great time and we think it was a success because it gives us hope and this is so important...

Now the waiting, hoping and praying period has started...

I wish you all a good weekend further and all the best!

Ada

Hi Ada,

Great to hear from you, and wonderful news about your embryo transfer! They are such a good team at Create, I have always found them so helpful and encouraging. I will keep everything crossed for you for the coming days and weeks.

The two week wait (2WW?!) is such a strange time. I don't know if you're interested, but I used a relaxation CD by Zita West during this time, which helped me a lot. It gave me a chance each day to really think about what might be happening inside me and to 'will' things on with positive thoughts. This took a bit of pressure off the rest of the day (so I felt I didn't have to think about it constantly) but meant that I had a time of really focused space and thought. Who can say whether it contributed to the implantation and my (brief) pregnancy, but it certainly made me feel 'Calm, Relaxed And Positive' - one of Zita's mantras (but if you shorten it, it's actually CRAP!! Well, that made me and my husband (DH?) laugh! I started each day determinded that it would be a 'CRAP' one!).

Anyway, I have now invested in Zita's other CDs (you can get them online, I should be on commission!) - a general one for conception, which, I'm using at the moment, and one for early pregnancy (I wish I'd discovered it when I was pregnant but I have it ready for next time!). All in the mind, but I reckon that's half the battle...

Anyway, I wish you every success and will be thinking of you - and you too Andrea.

Love Kate xx

Hi all,

Kate, thank you very much for your message. How are you? Have you decided about your next step?

Andrea how is going? Hope you are fine.

No news yet from my side (2WW is soo long), I have to wait for the results of my beta-HCG test (a nurse, at my GP office, told me that it takes 4 days to get the result!!, isn't this crazy? But I have mentioned that I live in The Netherlands, so no private health care..., I do not want to continue, I will become too emotional as I have lots of very bad experiences with doctors here).
I think I have done the blood test way too early (9 days after ET), nevertheless I am going to repeat it.

cheers,
Ada

Hi,

I hope that you are all OK.
I see that there is not much activity on this forum.

Bad news from my side: first beta-hcg 12; second: 11; third: 1. It looks like the embryo tried to implant but has not succeeded .
It is not much to be said, we are just sad and wondering if it will be useful to undergo some immune testing (NK cells for ex.).
Has anyone had this kind of testing done?

Ada

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